SHORT GAME LONG GAME

October 12th, 2018

In the game of emotions and thinking, how we react to the short game is our long term strategy.

If we become enraged or depressed because of some mistake or failure, then chances are very good that we will experience much rage or depression throughout the course of the long game.  Mistakes and failures cannot be mitigated.  They are an unavoidable and a necessary part of the feedback we get from reality. 

Our short game for such feedback compounds and eventually comprises our long game.

If we can replace rage and depression with calmness and curiosity, not only will the long game be more enjoyable, but without the stunting distractions of negative emotions, we can move along more efficiently, therefore faster and eventually cover far more ground.

Practicing calmness and curiosity as the chief short game strategy eventually creates a new default that can self-perpetuate into the long term and inevitably dictate the outcome of our long game strategy. 

Just as a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, long game might be a general direction, but short game is the mechanics of each and every step, and how we react to them.

The gift of difference between emotions and thinking is inherent in the fact that emotion is primarily a function of short game.  Emotions do not last.  They have little endurance and short half-lives.  And while some emotions seem to perpetuate for a long time due to habitual thinking, they are riddled with cracks and gaps where we have an opportunity to introduce new thinking that can alter the habitual thinking responsible for emotions that appear perpetual and unending.

We seek some kind of emotional experience that will forever alter who we are and how we feel, but chances are good this is a fool’s errand.  We are concentrated on some external force to change us.  What has a greater chance of working is seeking new concepts and thoughts that can in turn have an increasingly larger sway on the way we feel.  The radical potential of a new thought is not limited to whatever dynamics such a new thought might have inside the brain with our emotional centers.  A new thought can initiate new behaviors that then have a round-about effect on our emotional make up.  Like going through a secret back door.

An easy example is exercise.  For the overwhelming majority of people, spiking the heart rate for a little while has a huge impact on the way we feel.  The idea that exercise could have this effect leads to the behavior of exercise which in turn impacts the emotions.

Meditation is another example.  Studies seem unified on the statistic that positive results from daily meditation do not being to bloom until the 3^rd or 4^th month of meditation, so such a practice has to be initiated from a purely intellectual standpoint.

Such an enterprise shows just how many ties there are between short game and long game.  The individual who begins to meditate with the long term aim of achieving greater abilities for calmness in moments of stress is playing a long game with the aim of playing a better short game, which in turn comprises an even longer long game.

Short game might become long game, but it requires a long game perspective to know how we should edit our short game.

WEATHER REPORT

October 11th, 2018

Being a weather reporter is humorously referred to as either the easiest job, or the hardest job, both for the same reason:  it’s so difficult to predict the weather accurately.  Of course with advances in technology, the job is becoming more accurate.

How many of us treat the quality of our own days in much the same way that we view the weather? 

How strange and potentially wonderful would it be to turn on the news and see that the weather reporter has turned into a weather dictator: an authority who dictates what the weather will be.  How powerful would such a person become?  This weather dictator could easily become like a god who we try to placate in order to ensure that we get the sort of weather that we want.   Couples would spend thousands to ensure sunny weddings, farmers would dedicate huge portions of their crop to guarantee rain.

Unlike current weather reporters who are bound by an external weather that is only partly predictable, each of us has the ability to turn into a weather dictator for the ups and downs, the lows and highs of our own life. 

While the pessimistic and jaded might think it ineffective and probably ridiculous, it’s a curiously powerful exercise to wake up in the morning declare that the day will be a magnificent one.

The jaded pessimists somehow always overlook the self-fulfilling properties of any given outlook, particularly their own.

Jaded pessimism only has the smallest chances of being cracked by unusually good external events.  And even such events are subject to being labelled as a whim of fate.  Such jaded pessimists might feel empowered by the reliability of such perspectives, claiming that no expectations and no hopes guarantees no disappointment, but always fail to see that such a claim is still a perspective that is focused on external events: it is not a perspective that genuinely springs from an internal place for the sake of the person.  Making a declaration that the internal weather of one’s self is going to be spectacular, no matter what external events occur has potential reliability far exceeding any degree of jaded pessimism, if only for the fact that it is internally generated.  Sticking to such a sunny disposition might be far more difficult, but we must ask why it is so difficult and if attempting such a declarative disposition will always be so difficult.  Habitual thinking is a difficult, counter-intuitive thing to change. 

In fact, few things are more counter-intuitive than changing one’s thinking since intuition is a description of feeling and much of the way we feel is a function of the way we think.  By this description, thinking and feeling seem like two gears perfectly lined up with one another, each spinning the other at exactly the same rate.  Or how the heat of the sun is what creates clouds that block it out. 

And yet there are still sunny days.

Luckily thinking and feeling, while intimately tied, are not one-for-one mechanisms, and concepts that we encounter in thinking that don’t appear to spark any immediate emotional ramification can end up having deceptively large emotional ramifications.  The mismatch between thinking and feeling in this case has to do with the half-life of emotions versus the endurance of a concept.  Emotions do not last long.  Anger, for example is perhaps the most spectacular emotion, and yet anyone who pauses to think about it would be forced to admit that it’s actually quite hard to stay very angry for any stretch of time.  The emotion needs to be continuously fed with mental reminders of the injustice committed or the misfortune rendered.

One of the contributing factors to emotions that seem perpetual, like the lackluster emotions of pessimism or even depression, is that much of thinking is habitual.  Like a broken record, many concepts in the brain are on perpetual repeat, which renews any emotion resulting from such a conceptual perspective.  At the beginning of each day, the record player is turned back on, and we hear much the same weather report we’ve been hearing for potentially many years.  But a change in thinking can change the tune,

and unlike the news, our own personal weather report can create the mental weather we experience.

Instead of passively experiencing the day, we might want to wonder what would happen if we start things off by asking:  what kind of weather would you like today?

PILOT HOLE

October 10th, 2018

In woodworking a hole is drilled in order to ensure a screw will follow a preferred path and to ensure the wood does not split.  The chances that the screw will veer off in an unintended direction are virtually zero.  A path has been cleared for it, and as with most things, the path of least resistance wins.

We might benefit from wondering what sort of pilot holes we can predrill for endeavors and habits we wish to have bolted into our lives and history.

Say someone wants to start a business.  Is there an opportunity for a pilot hole in this situation.  Can a smaller, much easier business be started in anticipation of a larger more complex project?

Can we drill pilot holes for habits?  Essentially we are looking to see if we can make the situation ripe for a habit to flourish in the right direction so that we can intentionally build our life by combining elements mindfully and strategically.

Being woken up early in the morning by the activities of others in the household, for example, does not necessarily create a ripe situation for developing a meditation habit if compared to a dedicated effort to wake up twenty minutes before everyone else.

Most people view the creation and maintenance of new good habits as a function of willpower and the necessary amount required for achievement.  But we perhaps expect too much from ourselves.  We adore the easier, faster way anyhow, so why not give some thought to how we might make a new good habit easy and more conducive? 

It’s hard to eat poorly if there is only good food in the house.  Which means it’s easy to eat healthy food

It’s hard not to go for a run if you’re late for work and purposely parked the car 10 blocks away from the house, which means not just easy, but necessary to go for a run right before work.

Imagine for example the late night shift worker who is forced to sleep late into the day.  Such an individual could bemoan the trial of poor sleep, or such a person could install black-out curtains and make the environment more conducive to their situation in life.  Sleeping through the bright environment of morning and midday is not a matter of having more willpower or not, it’s a matter of environmental circumstance.   It’s obvious in the case of someone sleeping because volitional will is not even an option in such a unconscious state.  And yet when it comes to other things that require our active participation, we toss aside the potential affects of environmental factors in favor of a perspective focused narrowly on willpower.

We might benefit from asking what sort of pilot holes we can drill into our lives to make the environment we live in more hospitable to the changes we’d like to make.

MANIFEST EXAMPLE

October 9th, 2018

Imagine for a moment that you’ve been abducted by aliens.  Silly, fantastical, but just for a moment, imagine it.  You’ve been beamed aboard the mothership and find yourself within a small chamber and after some time it’s clear that you are not harmed and there is no intention to harm you.

Say these aliens have decoded your language, and they simply want to talk to you.

Let’s say they ask the simple question: What is your world like?

Take a moment to imagine what you would say.

What kind of portrait would you paint of the human race?

Is it all gloom and doom?  Would you say that you come from a people that is hell bent on destruction, that ruins it’s environment and cares little for the needy, sick and poor?  A species that only thinks of it’s individual self, and never sees the larger picture?

How would your listeners think of you if this was your answer?  Would your panel of observers think they’d stumbled onto the only clear headed member of the species?

Or is such a description not just a perspective of what’s going on with our planet, but also a glimpse into the perspective of the person who chooses to portray things in this way?

To criticize the rest of the human race as selfish and uncaring is in itself a selfish and uncaring act.  Not only does it ignore the rapid progress we have made with regards to improving our general condition, but it is selfish in that the speaker plays the victim card.  Such an individual speaks from a place of false innocence.  Such a speaker is a part of the poor picture they paint, though they might think they are separate, above, and better.

Or would you say something different.  Would you perhaps say that despite our misteps, mistakes and troubles, we get back up, again and again and try to see our old and present mistakes in ever clearer light, though it is difficult for us, and then once we’ve realized our mistake fully, we try, however feebly to fix what we have done.

Could it be that a fair and comprehensive picture of our chaotic world and the people we’ve become is simply not possible.  Might some of us claim an inability to accurately fulfill such an impossible task as describing who we are and what we strive to do.  How would such humility play upon our observers. 

No matter what we might say, we must remember that we as a speaker and a doer are not separate from our manner of communication nor our style of action, and both say a tremendous amount about who we are as individuals, and by proxy, what it means to be human, even if we as individuals only comprise a tiny tiny minority of our whole people.

We cannot simply describe.  We are, even in the role of reporter, an example of our own species.  And we need not be abducted by curious aliens to be thrust into such a role.  We live it every single day.  With every single thing we say, do and think, we are an example of what it means to be human.

What kind of example are you?

KEEPING TALLY

October 8th, 2018

In a game of soccer or hockey, keeping tally is very important.  Relative to other sports, very few points are scored, so each point means a whole lot, whereas basketball games have the potential to finish with a difference of points in the dozens.

In sports, the matter of keeping tally is the end-all purpose of the game.  It is a means for ratcheting up the type of games we will see.  Keeping tally ensures – in theory – that we will see games of increasing skill on each side, and the hope and thinking behind this is that the game played will be of a higher caliber, a more rare variety, something special and unique.

The habit of keeping tally with numerical items often bleeds into places where it does damage.  The bill between friends at a restaurant, for instance.  This situation goes one of three ways.

Two friends might pay only for what each precisely had.

Or they might split the whole bill 50/50.

Or one of these friends will grab the bill and say, I got it this time.  With the tacit implication that the next time time is spent together, the favor will be returned.

These three possibilities show an increasing amount of leniency with regards to the details.  And from a business standpoint, this might seem unwise.  A penny saved is a penny earned, which means that a penny needlessly spent is double the loss it would be if saved.  But to look at friendships, or any close relationship as a kind of business transaction or business relationship is a mistake.    For the simple reason that there is an important factor at play beyond the pedantic ritual of keeping tally.  Cushy words like ‘love’ and ‘generosity’ aside, we must examine the reason why relationships beyond blood exist.  Friendships in particular are of greatest help to elucidate why keeping a strict tally is such bad practice.  Any friendship based solely on the specifics of what one has done for the other and the equivalence of those two set of acts is far more fragile than one that is not concerned with such.  Friendship that permits a much wider berth when balancing the checkbook of back scratches shows a much lager implicit value judgment that extends and includes things beyond the acts that can be easily monetized or numerically valued.  Such a circumstance between friends indicates a wider perspective.  Each person in such a friendship sees the other in a way that is greater than the sum of parts that can be seen ‘on paper’.    While this is obvious between good friends who are willing to give far more than they might expect in return, it would be a wise perspective to take on all human beings, friends and strangers alike.  The reason being that we cannot predict with absolute fidelity how someone will act or what they will become given a new circumstance.  While history is generally a good indication of how someone will act in the future, this is a general indication, and not an absolute one, which means while probabilities are high that someone won’t change, we cannot ignore the real possibility that a chance has the potential to lead to something new.  The flip side to remember is that no chance creates an  absolute probability: a probability of zero that something new will happen.  Generosity beyond the equal tally creates the opportunity for a non-zero probability that something new will happen. 

We might think of VC’s giving loads of capital to a small group of individuals with a new idea.  It might not pan out.  In fact, it probably won’t pan out, but the VC realizes that without a large initial act of generosity, some ideas have an absolute probability of zero when it comes to chances of materializing in reality.

Such is the perspective of loving friends with one another.  The potential absolute value of another person is frankly unknowable, and a real friend intuits this in practice.

What is that phrase about loving unconditionally?  The result of such unconditional tethers is never explicitly talked about.  For good reason: it is unpredictable, and unquantifiable. 

Many stories of karma elucidate this point: how a tiny gesture of kindness on one person’s part ends up saving their life when circumstances are flipped to a hyperbolic degree.

Whether it be karma or the strategy of Venture Capitalists or a bill unsplit between friends at a bar, the whole concept of keeping a tally usually undermines our long-term hopes for the way we function in the world, which is almost exclusively through our relationships to others.  That being said,

It’s best to throw away the scoreboard.  We must still be mindful of leeches that want to simply take advantage of us, but realizing such does take time, and may result in lost resources, but in the long run it’s best to give everyone the benefit of the doubt longer than feels comfortable.  Simply put, none of us know what kind of long-term investment we might be making.